I got Mario Kart for my Wii the other day, and I must say that I haven't had this much fun with a video game since the old days of poop-socking games like Final Fantasy 3 back in high school. I was quite the dashing character in my teenage years; envied by men and pursued by women. Anyway, this game is, to use an eloquent phrase, fucking awesome. It plays perfectly, taking ques from Mario Kart DS more so than the gamecube one who's title I forget. Drifting and power sliding works beautifully and they eliminated that awful snaking crap that ruined the DS kart game for me. The included plastic wheel is incredibly fun to play with. I tried it out with a bit of trepidation, but I fell in love with it immediately. It really feels, at least a little bit, like you are driving one of those little go-karts from those dumpy little amusement areas that are located just outside the city limits of any city on the continent. You know the one, with "laser-tag", go-karts, a crummy arcade and more two-bit pot dealers hanging around than you can shake a stick at.
The online play works better than I expected. A little too much delay to get a match started, but little noticeable delay when actually racing. Although, since you can't communicate with the other racers in any meaningful way, it doesn't really feel much different than playing against the computer. I haven't tried the friends list thing, but I don't think I would really want to bother with it anyway. My friends all bitch and moan when I beat them at any competitive venture and, with my vast mario karting prowess, I would beat their asses 12 ways to Sunday. It would be embarrasing, so I will save them that embarrassment. (That last little bit is a smidge of a lie; truth is, I don't actually have any friends).
The new tracks are good, though Rainbow Road is a bit of a bastard. It's supposed to be a bastard, though, so I'll forgive them for that. Item balance seems to be improved, with the new ones not feeling too ridiculous. The lightning cloud that passes from racer to racer like herpes in a truck stop bathroom is particularly clever.
The only thing I didn't like was the mandatory use of the new motorbikes on the 100cc circuits. I'm not really in love with the controls of bikes and I had to play all those tracks with them. I did manage to get by them fine with some of the heavier bikes, but I prefer to play with the lighter karts mostly. But that's the only thing I didn't like about the game and that's a minor quibble at best.
Take it from me, Mario Kart Wii is a great game and everybody should be playing it for hours on end. Play it until bed sores form on your ass; you'll be glad you did!
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4 comments:
Okay, I will take your advice. I will visit a truck stop bathroom first thing tomorrow. And then perhaps purchase Mario Kart.
Just be sure to learn the proper toe tapping and hand signals to attract willing persons. That's key right there.
I think you have a topic for your next post.
I'm not going back there again. I learned about those "signals" the hard way. I was at the truck stop bathroom. I had my wide stance going on, you know to aid with the final act of the digestion process. I had fired up a little Tony Orlando on the old iPod, and was tapping along to such great tunes. Got a little too into it and started to do a bit of the old jazz hands, probably a little too low and then suddenly, "Bam!", penis coming at me from the stall next door. That was very embarrassing for all parties involved. I had to explain to the guy that I liked girl parts and not guy parts and you could tell from his voice that he was quite sad inside. A very awkward day for me.
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